Will he ever love again?

     After so many years, our sweet love has ended. Why? I ask myself... There is no strong reason for his departure. I blame it on me, most of the time, because I believed love can defeat any obstacle... But there are to many things: cowardice, fear, irresponsibility and guilt. Why don't you want to fight for this love, keep it, embrace it, appreciate it, protect it.... Why did you had to choose the easy way? Who will ever love you as I do? Who will hold you tight in those cold nights? Who will be there for you when you may need a hug, an advice? Who will take my place? Why would you replace my love, my honest love, for someone who doesn't even know what love, passion and care is... Someone who may do it out only because a system has raised like that, to be like an automatic machine... Will you ever love a person who takes love as a moral duty?

        Yeah, maybe you will, because you also belong from that system of thoughts. And I can't imagine how a stranger will take my place... a strange creature who may not see you as I do. And I have in mind all those nights and days we spent together, how we used to laugh together, to fight on silly things and make-up, to stay in bed embraced a whole day...

      Hate! The last few weeks you talk only about hate, how I should hate you... You stupid man, how can i hate the love I have for you, how can I hate the only thing who was there for me, how can I hate my memories with you, how can I hate my only true love...

       Finding someone! How can I find other man when I have you, why would I replace a true love for a fake one... You stupid silly man, you think you have nothing to offer me. You offered me strength, ambition, hope, love... Now you left me only with a broken heart.

       How can I love again?

Will you ever love again? Maybe you will... How can I know what will you do next? But I know what I'll do, and I'm afraid nothing good will happen... You will remain my biggest "What if..." 

I pray to God, it will come a day, when you'll open your mind and eyes, and realize I'm what you really need and you are what I need... and when i say "need" I mean only the needs of a heart and soul... True Love doesn't come twice in life, it comes only once.... don't destroy it, embrace it...

Finding the Child

There was a time when I used to smile with no reason,

There was a time when I used to have little sparks in my eyes,

There was a time when I used to be different,

I was just a simple Child...

       Life changed so much since then.. My life has changed in a very funny way. When we are young we wish to be adults, we wish to have our own things, but when we get at that stage, we wish to be a children again...

       I wish to be a child again, enjoy the first flower of the Spring, enjoy the breeze of the Summer, enjoy the wonderful colors of Autumn and enjoy the first snowflakes of Winter. Today as an adult I don't find them so special....

       I wish to feel free again, I wish to dream with my eyes open, I wish to find the girl i used once to be. Where is my innocence, my delight to discover new things, my kindness, my passion for life, my love for those who surrounds me.... Where are you sweet and tender Childhood? Why did you left me so soon? Why is it so hard to live without you? 

        I miss you, sweet and tender childhood!

I'm sorry if i didn't appreciate you more, but life must go on....